Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
