Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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