you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize