So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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