Fuck appropriateness.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
