Non-Jews are for practice
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
