So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
