So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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