dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
