it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
