god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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