there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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