tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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