Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
