I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
