I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize