'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
