yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
