Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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