now i know why i became what i already was.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
