i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
