So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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