Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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