so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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