i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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