you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
