One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
