If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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