Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
