If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
