Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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