remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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