I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
