she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
how drunk are you?
Several
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
