she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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