Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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