One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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