it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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