so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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