Non-Jews are for practice
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
