i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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