I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
