No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
