My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
