You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
FUCK WHALES
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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