Small penises have feelings too.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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