and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
