Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
