when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
false alarm, still single
Randomize
