she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
