you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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