He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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