If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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