My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
