He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
