i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
