chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you will always have a special place in my vag
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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