READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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