My nipple is on Facebook.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
