I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
