i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
