who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
