I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize