Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
